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Dealing with difficult people who bring us down.

| March 13, 2010 | 0 Comments

In life, we get to meet a huge number of people, however there are always some that are very difficult to deal with. Difficult people. These are often people we don’t like, and we can have a tendency to avoid them at all costs. Staying out of the range of their radar may be the right solution, but there are also times where passing into that detection zone is unavoidable.

Friendly individuals emotionally lift up people and if there is conflict, it generally can easily be worked through. When dealing with the difficult ones, however, it is important to be able to distinguish between rights and responsibilities. Sometimes we feel obliged to adapt to them but we shouldn’t forgo our rights as human beings either.

There are also those people whom we have to deal with out of responsibility. One of the best things that we can do here is to not reciprocate the difficulties that person is causing us, even though the temptation to can be very strong. Treating them with respect is important and we also must learn to listen to them as they air out their points of view. Doing this will help us better understand them. Plus, if we get to know them, we’ll be able to strategize more about what to do and how to respond.

The thing is, difficult people are usually those who have issues in their life. Disassociate the problem from the person and learn to see things objectively. After all, if this person is not overstepping the boundaries, they might also eventually see that we too deserve respect. Anyone with enough sense should know this.

We also have to stop seeing ourselves as victims of a situation. Blaming others for making us feel miserable can only further damage us. It gives others a chance to access our emotions. Take responsibility for how we feel, and work towards a solution before they attain a mental victory over us. Do you really want to be someone else’s emotional puppet?

We just can’t change other people. We can, however, influence ourselves to stop becoming affected. Nobody is worth this much energy and we don’t need to sweat over those who don’t deserve our respect. Deal with them like we should with work, and that is never take too much of it home with us.

So, in dealing with people who try to bring us down, we have to accept that we cannot change others, but can only change ourselves. This may mean that we change our perception and the way we deal with the situations. It’s always better to look into ourselves first and see if it’s us that need to make changes. We, as individuals, also have our own pet peeves and issues.

If that other person really needs to change and is willing to make the adjustment, then we need to use constructive influence. There are tactful ways to send a message through without making someone feel worse. There are those who will influence our life very adversely. But we can be a positive influence in someone else’s life by letting go of what we cannot control and doing our best to be helpful instead. Mahatma Gandhi once said that we must be the change we want to see in the world. Let us serve as inspiration to many and be the positive influence. When we do this, we will slowly start to see ourselves surrounded by only those we like and respect.

Important Note:

In some cases of severe oppression, nastiness and mental control, it is important to remove yourself from the influence of the guilty parties alltogether. This is partly because such people can have very deep hooks in your psyche and being in their presence can make positive change very difficult for you. A good metaphor for this is that such severely oppressive people can be like an occupying power in a geographic area. It can be very hard to break free. When you have recovered and healed, then is the time that you can decide if you still want to interact with such putrid people because you will be strong. But why would you?

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Category: Personal Development

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