Pity parties – whatever you do, don't arrange one!
Pity Parties….have you ever been to one?
Years ago, I was a regular attendee at pity parties.
The trouble is, I was the only one who ever stayed long.
Not many people ever came anyway and those that did soon left.
I must have been such a dreadful host!
Yes, I was. Self pity is a very destructive emotion and way of thinking. When we put on a pity party for ourselves the effect is also very unpleasant for other people. It drives people away.
Have you noticed how people are drawn to happy, confident party guests. Guests who have a sense of humor and those who love fun?
The message here is that we need to fix the self pity problem, if we have one; not feed it, and the host of satellite problems it breeds.
As I said, few people come to pity parties and those that do usually leave early.
So why bother?
In fact, many of us do feel sorry for ourselves to an extent. Mostly not the extreme that I used to personally, however I suggest that you keep some private notes for a week or two about whenever you feel self pitying feelings and you might get a big shock.
Another reason to get over yourself and stop the self pity is that few people really care. Have a think about the countless stories around about people who fell on hard times and all of a sudden discovered that they had few friends, or even none at all. Do you think many people really care about you? Why should they? Unless you are a rock star, have loads of money or something else they want. And even then their ‘care” is likely to evaporate once you lose your voice, back the wrong investment and so on.
Of course, if you do have genuine people around you who really care then that’s great. Appreciate and be thankful for them. Not everyone does. In fact, when you are feeling sorry for yourself you could take a car trip for 10 minutes in any direction in a built up area and you will find loads of people far worse off than you.
Self pity is a road to nowhere.
Instead, stop and start looking for something to be thankful about and you will start to feel BETTER. Well, that’s what you want isn’t it? Or are you just a miserable git * like I was? (*n.Chiefly British Slang. A foolish or contemptible person.)
Another really good antidote to self pity is to start finding out how you can help others. How you can make THEM feel good. Life is a huge burden for many people. You have a chance to make their lot a little bit easier. And guess what? You will start to feel better and gradually find yourself attracting the company of like minded caring people. So, stop feeling sorry for yourself, start caring about others and you will find others care about you.
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Category: Personal Development
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